ADVENTURES IN ADOPTION By Jean H. Seeley
Prologue- August 1999
As the parents of almost two grown children, many of our friends and relatives questioned our sanity when my husband and I decided to add to our family through adoption in 1995. However, four years and two kids later, we have never regretted our decision. Below is the story of my trip to complete the adoption of our then three-year-old daughter who was waiting for us in Quzhou, China. We are eternally grateful to many nameless people in China for their loving care of our daughter until she was able to join our family.
November 1995
The day after Thanksgiving 1995, I found myself at Sea-Tac airport waiting to board an airplane for Shanghai, China. After my husband left, I began to seriously contemplate the sanity of my actions. For starters, I really hate flying. Second, why was I flying to faraway China to adopt a little girl when I had already had two wonderful almost grown children? My friends all thought I was nuts. Maybe they were right? Fortunately, I gathered my courage and stepped on the plane.
After what seemed like days in the dark, we landed late at night at the deserted Beijing airport. Since I didn't know where to go for immigration, I followed the other passengers. We went up and down stairs and escalators and finally ended up at an enclosed glass booth with a young Chinese soldier in it. He quickly looked at my passport. Then, off I went to follow the others back to our plane for Shanghai.
After a short flight, I landed in Shanghai. When I arrived at the baggage claim I noticed a young Chinese man with a sign with my name on it. This must be Oliver, who according to my adoption agency, was to be my guide through China and the adoption process. He took me through the darkened streets of Shanghai to a hotel, where I fell asleep to the noises of the streets below.
The next morning I had a buffet breakfast at the hotel restaurant. I had no idea of what most of the food was. I noticed people stared a bit at me, which made me a little uncomfortable. After checking out, Oliver and I headed for the train station, which was walking distance. For the first time, I really felt like I was in China! I tried to take in all the people, noises, smells, and sights. I noticed many high-rises under construction and taxis going in every direction.
After a short wait at the train station, we boarded a clean, almost empty train for the three-hour trip to Hangzhou. This is where I was to meet my new daughter. Oliver and I had a good time talking about China while passing farms and villages. It was quite exhilarating to be so far from home and see so many unfamiliar things. I enjoyed this opportunity to see a small portion of life in rural China.
After arriving in Hangzhou we checked into the Overseas Chinese hotel located across from West Lake. The area around the lake bustled with people. During the day, Chinese music was piped in and older citizens practiced Tai Chi. The street was full of bicycles, cars and people walking.
Later that day I met Bud and Beverly from Baltimore, MD. All of us were adopting girls through the same adoption agency so we paired up for the adoption/travel process. They were a very nice couple. It was comforting to know Bud was a doctor in case anyone had medical problems. We spent some time getting to know each other and then returned to our rooms to wait for our girls to arrive.
Later that evening about 8 p.m. I heard a knock on Bud and Bev's door. I went over to their room just in time to see Chinese people bringing in two little beautiful toddlers. I could see that one was Bud and Bev's little girl, but the other child looked too young for my Hua Hua. Later learned the other child was for another family in a different hotel. I left their room, as I didn't want to impose on their meeting with their new daughter and her caregivers.
A few minutes later I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door and in came a rather large man, a very pretty woman, a smaller woman, and last but not least, my new daughter. Oliver came over and began talking to the orphanage director, Mr. He. To say I was overwhelmed is a real understatement! There in front of me, was the little girl we had been waiting for. I didn't want to scare her, so I showed her some of the toys I had brought for her. The biggest hit was the bubbles. Hua Hua seemed to be enjoying herself, although I could tell she was somewhat dazed.
I learned that she had been in a car for several hours to get to Hangzhou. Oliver translated that she had lived with a farmer and his wife and their three grown children in a small village. They had taken care of her for 2.5 years until the orphanage in Quzhou was built in April of 1995. He also said she was a very outgoing child and considered to be very bright by the staff. At Oliver's suggestion, I wrote all this information down.
I took several pictures everyone with Hua Hua and passed out presents for Mr. He and his staff. In return, they gave me a small porcelain statue of a mother, almost Madonna -like that I placed very carefully in my suitcase to give to Hua someday when she was older. Then it was time for the orphanage staff to go. Hua started crying and was very upset. I felt so sorry for her. They left quickly and before I knew it, the room was empty except for Hua and me. I decided it was a good time to show her some of the toys I had brought for her. The first thing I tried was a Cabbage Patch doll with Asian features I gave it to her along with a hairbrush and a bottle. She immediately started playing with the doll. I was somewhat relieved to know that she knew how to play with a doll and how to nurture as well.
Later, I gave her a bath, which she really enjoyed. For all I know, it might have been the first tub bath she ever had. I gave her toys to play with to make the transition easier for her. We went to sleep quickly as both of us were pretty exhausted from the day's events.
The next morning we left for the ministry office. The office was a 7-story building with cement stairwells open to the air. The inside of the office was very cold and sparsely furnished. The staff offered us tea, which we gladly took to help warm us up. Mr. He was there and so we sat her on his lap while I showed him photos of her new family in America. She seemed glad to see him, but not overly distraught about being reunited with him. Later, officials went over our paperwork with Mr. He and Oliver.
After a review of our documents, we stood with our new children in front of the ministry officials and answered a brief series of questions. The ones I remember are, are you happy with your new daughters and will you love them as if they were your own? We all answered an emphatic, resounding, "Yes!" Then we posed for photos and received various adoption-related documents.
We were done for the day with adoption type tasks so we spent the rest of the day on a wonderful field trip out to a tea factory. It wasn't a tea factory at all, but rather a small operation in a village not too far from Hangzhou. It was a real treat to head out of town to see a Chinese village. Needless to say, the villagers were curious about us too. After drinking tea for years, I really enjoyed seeing real tea plants and learning more about the process of cultivating tea.
In the days that followed, sometimes Hua Hua and I would look out our window at the lake and the busy street just outside the hotel driveway. Some of the first English words she learned were, "bicycle, bicycle, red car, red car." The city government of Hangzhou limited the number of cars licensed, so there were more bicycles on the street than cars. We'd look out the window and count all bicycles and taxis, which were the red cars. From all that I could tell, she seemed to be an extremely bright and resilient child.
Finally on Thursday, Oliver came to our rooms to tell us we were officially done with the Chinese adoption part of our trip!! There are no words to describe how it felt to have the girls considered ours in the eyes of the Chinese government!! Now, on to Guangzhou to deal with the AMERICANS!!!!
Hua Hua did very well on her first airplane ride, although she wouldn't wear a seat belt. She kept me really busy on the plane, but we made it in one piece. Oliver confided in me that he didn't like to fly, especially on Russian made planes. I was thrilled to note we were on a Boeing airplane.
When we arrived at the airport in Guangzhou, we were taken by van to the Victory Hotel. The next morning we trotted off to the Chinese medical clinic for the required medical exam. When we got there we couldn't help but noticed someone had vomited in the doorway. Boy, we were off to a great start! The clinic was full of Chinese people waiting for various medical services. The Chinese doctor did a very cursory exam on her and then...let's get out of here!
While in Guangzhou we had a good time exploring. We would occasionally cruise into the White Swan hotel where most adoptive parents stayed. It was very opulent with a waterfall, a beautiful view of the Pearl River, large marble lions out front, a jade junk (Chinese boat) that was about 8 feet long, and great shops. We also enjoyed visiting the outdoor market, which had many live and exotic animals for sale for consumption.
The next hurdle for us was the visit to the US embassy for our interview and visa processing. As Hua Hua was still a Chinese citizen, we needed to get her an U.S. visa. The U.S. embassy was very close to the Swan Hotel. We went early in the morning, passing Chinese people waiting in line to get in. Once we passed the security screening, we entered the lobby. We were so glad to be on U.S. soil even if we still were in China! I would think even the most hardened Republican would be glad to see old Bill Clinton's shining face beaming down at them!! I know I was!
After waiting a brief time, I was ushered to a small desk with a very tall young man seated behind. The interview was a piece of cake. Afterwards, I took his photograph by the U.S. flag, as I greatly appreciated his small but important role in getting my daughter to the U.S.
Once this had been accomplished, we were officially done with the entire overseas U.S./China adoption process. The next day my companions left to visit friends in Hong Kong before returning to Baltimore. We said good-bye on the front steps of the Victory Hotel. It was certainly hard to say good-bye to such wonderful traveling companions. We were all off for the adventure of a lifetime and I wished they lived closer so we could travel down the rest of the journey together. We both were so very lucky to be able to adopt such wonderful little girls. I was sad to know I wouldn't be able to watch Anni grow up on a daily basis.
After they left, Hua Hua and I were pretty lonely. So, I decided to hang out at the front of the hotel to see if I could meet other adoptive parents or Americans. Sure enough, before too long, I meet a group of about 3 families. They invited Hua and me out to dinner at the White Swan. We had a nice time talking about our adoption experiences and enjoying the sun set over the Pearl River.
The next morning we got up and got ready for the long trip back to the States. Oliver got us a taxi and accompanied us to the airport at Guangzhou. Our flight to Beijing was uneventful, although I remember Hua kept me pretty busy with one thing or another.
Once we arrived in Beijing, we had a long layover. We waited in a very crowded waiting room with people from all over the world. There were lots of Russians in exotic fur coats who smoked incessantly. I ended up sitting next to a nice Norwegian diplomat and his young family. We were so busy talking that we almost missed our plane.
When our flight was called, I forged ahead with Hua through the crowd to the tarmac where we climbed the outdoor steps to the plane. Once we reached the top of the stairs I said to Hua, "say good-bye to China, I don't know when you will be back again." I fought back tears for so many reasons. The whole adoption process was very draining, as well as the traveling alone with a small child. But more than anything, the full impact of taking a young child away from their birthplace and culture was a pretty scary thought. I was taking away from her people, country and culture. Was it the right thing to take her to grow up in a country where she would be a minority? I picked her up and carried her to her seat where we prepared for the long journey to her new home.
The flight from Beijing to Seattle took about 12 hours. After a few hours, as it was her nighttime, Hua fell asleep. Just before we landed, she woke up. As the plane taxied up to the gate, I noticed she looked a little pale. Before I knew what was happening, she promptly threw up on my London fog coat. By this time I was so blown away and exhausted I couldn't have cared less and wiped it off with Kleenex.
Once we were off the plane, I grabbed a cart and put Hua and our suitcases on it. When we reached the customs/immigration desks, I wasn't sure where to go. I asked one of the INS officers who showed me to the special desk just for adoptive parents. The man at the desk was so kind I almost kissed him. I gave him our packet from the embassy in China and we were off to pick up our bags.
After picking up our bags, we were finally done and went to meet the family. I was so frazzled all I remember was my husband, our two teenagers, and our friend's the Roman's were waiting for us. Hua Hua took a good look at everybody and decided not to get too close to any of them. While we were waiting for the rest of our bags, she sat down on a chair by her new brother and sister who had just given her a talking Big Bird. Our videos reflect one dazed little kid. Once we had all our bags, we walked to where our car was parked, said good-bye to the Roman's and off we went to Hua Hua's new home!
Post Script: August 1999
Hua Hua has now been in America for three years now. She is six years old and has adjusted wonderfully to her new life. She will start first grade in the fall. She is now the big sister of a new baby brother from Korea, which is another story for later!!
For more information about us and adoption:
For information and photos of our family, please feel free to visit our webpage at: http://home1.gte.net/seeleyjh/index.htm, which has information, photos and links about adoption.
To see a recent photo and learn more about Hua Hua, please visit her homepage at: http://home1.gte.net/seeleyjh/rosie.htm
For photos, links and information about her orphanage, the Quzhou Social Welfare Institute, please feel to visit the website I have created at: http://home1.gte.net/seeleyjh/quzhou.htm